Number One Headache

When anyone asks me what the biggest problem a restaurant owner experiences, my response comes quickly, the staff. Since most restaurant employees view working at a restaurant as not a "real job" they don't take their responsibility very seriously (see "I Gotta Go Home" below). So on any given day someone is calling out sick or worse yet not showing up at all, giving notice, going away on vacation with 90% of the rest of the staff, giving a customer a hard time, losing it in the "weeds" (when the restaurant is obscenely busy), giving management a hard time, stealing product, giving stuff away to friends, continual coming in late, dressing like a slob, or as explained earlier, wanting to go home early, only to mention a few. I have so many stories about staff that I would need a book in itself just to share them all, but one that comes to mind is a cook I hired in a small restaurant I owned at the onset of my restaurant career. The kitchen was so small that I was the chef and I had one assistant on the stove for saute. Keep in mind that this was an extremely busy restaurant and it was a Saturday night. This particular cook had been working with me for about 3 weeks and he seemed to sweat a lot during the rush. We were right in the middle of a Saturday rush when he asked if he could go outside and have a smoke. I was astonished that he would ask this in the thick of things but not wanting to piss him off I told him to make it quick. More than a few minutes past and I go out to check to see what's keeping him. Both him and his car are gone......this guy just dropped everything and bolted leaving me to wipe up the mess. Needless to say, I improvised, which is something an experienced restaurant will often do, and took my dishwasher and quickly, really quickly, gave him the basics of doing some cooking tasks and we were able to make it through the night without one complaint. To cap off the whole event, about two weeks later this slug comes in for his pay!!!

Anything That's Not Nailed Down

It never ceases to amaze me what people will steal from my restaurant and normally right in front of my employees eyes!! One of my first restaurants was rather small and a player piano was near the front door. It was playing one evening and a woman wearing a rather long coat was walking by when just then a man who was dancing to the music took her by the arm and swung her around. Well, just like a slot machine paying off, a whole mess of silverware fell out of the bottom of her coat. She just hid her face and ran out. Now, remember were talking about restaurant flatware here....do you really want that kind of flatware in your home!!! Another incident not too long ago involved a giant shark head that was hanging in the barroom. Now were talking about a 4 foot massive thing here, not some little fish and it was hanging just a few feet from the bar high up on the wall. To take it someone would have to climb up on a stool or ladder, remove it and then maneuver it around the stools and dividers and out the restaurant. Now this all happened in the middle of the afternoon and with a bartender supposably in the bathroom at the time. A few weeks later I received a phone call from a guy who said he had the shark and it was done as a college fraternity pledge prank and that he was going to return it. Never happened. The lesson from all this.......don't leave anything even remotely valuable in the restaurant unless it's bolted down. Anything else has to be chalked up to the cost of doing business.....the RESTAURANT BUSINESS!!!!!!!

I Gotta Go Home!!!

Winter is almost over but you'd never know it watching my waitstaff. They are in the thick of the fake flu season. Funny they don't get sick until they make their way to work and clock in for a while. Then they spend the rest of the setup time in the bathroom, come out hacking and say they have to go home. I might sound insensitive here but let me tell you what's really going on. The waits show up for their shifts and then decide amongst themselves who is going to leave by pretending to be sick. See, what happens here is they are safe from being disciplined because they did show up for their shift (if they call in they must find someone to cover their shift) and now that their ass is covered one of them goes home so the others can pick up more tables and in the end make more money. What they don't realize is that because the shift is short staffed the customers are not going to get the kind of service they should and probably a few tables that day will not return. In the long run shifts get slower and everyone (including me) makes less money in the end. They have the luxury of finding another wait job and start all over again. I have to stay and endure these antics and try to run a business.

"Whipits" (getting a buzz from aerosol whipped topping cans)

I watched the movie "Waiting" the other night and got some good laughs from some of the scenes. Although a lot of it is a stretch there are some things that are right on. The scene where the waitress was trying to top off the dessert with an aerosol whipped topping only to find out that none of the cans had any gas left. She walks into the walk in and finds the busboys sucking up the nitrous oxide to get a buzz. I found my busboys doing exactly the same thing and had to change to a non aerosol whipped topping.

Roller Derby

It's not often I get a chance to actually sit and have dinner but last night was an exception. Howard Johnson, a renowned tuba player, was playing at the restaruant and my wife and I decided to have dinner with a few friends. Saturday nights are not the time you want to try and relax. The place is a mad house and even if you do get the chance to take the night off (not for the first 10 years, at least) you are constantly interupted by management and staff. This night was no exception, but I did get to sit for a few minutes. The table next to us was a party of 12 fairly younger adults celebrating a birthday party. They seemed to be having a great time and enoying the music. One of the young ladies at the table turned to me during dinner and said she wanted me to judge something later. I had no idea what she was talking about until later in the evening. As the birthday girl and another young lady got up to go to the ladies room I noticed that they were unusally tall. Looking down I saw that the were wearing roller skates! They had come into the restaurant wearing rollerskates!!! They told me that as part of the birthday celebration the were going to the rollerrink after dinner and didn't want change there. The judging turned out to a competition on whose butt was firmer. But unfortunately the contestants were the young lady who earlier ask me to judge, and her male friend. I was happy to oblige her, but obviouly passed on the male butt.....she won!

So you want to own a restaurant someday....

Every ones dream, to own a restaurant!...but after being in the business for 25 years with four restaurants under my belt what people really need to hear is the reality (and not from a tv show) on what its like to own and run a restaurant. I will post, on a somewhat regular basis, whats going on at my current restaurant and when that gets a bit boring, on the many experiences I've had in the past. Although some of these things may sound as believable as reading the Penthouse Forum I assure all my posts are genuinely true. Your comments and own experiences are welcome.